Life with Three Boys: Why I love MOPS

I love talking about MOPS. It's so funny when someone who has no idea what it is hears about it in conversation. They're so confused because your normal thought of a MOP is a housekeeping item. But the MOPS I speak of stands for Mothers of Preschoolers. (You can learn more about mops at mops.org and find a group near you) 

MOPS Celebrates Motherhood. MOPS meets you RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE AT in the season of life you're at. Whether you're expecting your first or fourth. If you've got a new baby and you're trying to balance feeding on demand, attempting to sleep and post partum hormones or if you've officially got preschoolers and that first day of school is creeping up on you. MOPS gives you a safe space to encourage you as a mom, woman and wife. MOPS builds lifetime friendships. MOPS loves your children too! 

The home page of MOPS.ORG says it the BEST!

Here at MOPS, we are on a mission to celebrate motherhood.

We build circles of women who love each other like family, because raising humans is beautiful and hard, and having each other to lean on is life-giving. That’s why we connect moms all over the world to a community of women, in their own cities, who meet together to laugh, cry and embrace the journey of being a mom.

This is motherhood, and together we can change the world in all the best ways.

I stepped into my first MOPS meeting in the fall of 2012 just before the twins first birthday. A sweet Facebook friend, Meagan Goepferich encouraged me to attend (while I have you're attention, she has her own blog you can follow: http://morethanahomeschoolmom.com) I was terrified to step into that room... to go to a church I'd never been to, to meet new people, to do this ALONE with the twins. I desperately wanted someone to hold my hand. God knew.... Lisa Grehn reached out to me and virtually held my hand. She messaged me on Facebook, introduced herself to me, gave me her cell number in case I got lost or needed help getting the boys out of the car. She met me that day in the parking lot and walked me to the nursery ensuring that the twins would be well loved while I got such a short break. Leigh Byers met me at the nursery and sensed my anxiety in leaving the boys. She ensured me that they'd be okay, and I knew they would... they had each other and that was truly all they cared about. She sent me a sweet picture of them having snacks together. It was the first time I got to have breakfast and hold a conversation without someone needing something in months. I was sold. I became a member of MOPS of Miami and never looked back. 

I'm on my 5th season with MOPS of Miami and it's been a huge joy. I've enjoyed two different seasons of leadership and look forward to continuing that next season. I'm currently in charge of the child care program and while it isn't always an easy job, it brings my heart so much joy and I truly love all the babies so much. 

MOPS of Miami hosts meetings twice a month on Thursday mornings during the school year only. There is childcare provided for children 6 months through preschool. Our meetings always have breakfast and HOT coffee (say what?!?) And each meeting the leadership team plans different events, activities and discussions. MOPS.org provides curriculum and our Discussion Group Team Leader and Coordinator carefully plan which videos we will use each season and how they'll be used. They're wonderful! A few seasons ago we had one about raising boys that was huge for me. This year, the most impactful for me so far, has been on anger. We watch these videos and break out in our small groups to have more intimate and meaningful discussions. We have a fabulous creative activity team who plans awesome crafts for us a few times a year. We also serve our community. We're involved in Operation Christmas Child every year. We've collected for Free the Girls, we've helped stock the pantry at the Florida Baptist Children's Homes and we've blessed expecting moms at Eve's Hope Pregnancy Crisis Center (to name a few). We have awesome speakers a few times a year as well. And today was our annual Tea & Testimony, where, like every year, my heart was moved. 

Two beautiful woman who I am honored to call my friends, shared their testimonies this morning. They opened their hearts to us and truly gave us new or restored hope in how big and amazing God is and how He will use each and every part of our stories. Today is the kind of meeting that leaves you in this high and I just wanted to take advantage of it and encourage you.

Recently I watched 13 Reasons Why on Netflix.... like so many have. I'm not going to go into the BOOK I could write about that. (Warning if you haven't watched it! Triggers are Rape, Suicide, Assault, Gun Violence and there is a LOT of foul language). I will however say that it is a reminder and eye opener on two big things.... 1) We don't know what's going on in someone else's lives no matter what they TELL you or how they act. 2) The old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is a bunch of bull. WORDS HURT! Think before you speak. Point number 1 and point number 2 are tied hand in hand. If you have no idea what's going on in someone's life and mind and you cut them down with your words - you could make a tough situation that much worse. 

I'd like to encourage you today to lift each other up. Love each other. Go out of your way for others. Be generous, loving and kind. Proverbs 15:4 tells us "A soothing tongue is a tree of life, But perversion in it crushes the spirit." (NASB) So do you want to be a tree of life or do you want to crush spirits? What kind of life do you want to live?

MOPS is a tree of life for me. I get continuously lifted up at MOPS. I've gone into MOPS with potty trained twins before 2 feeling like a supermom. I've gone into MOPS with a baby who doesn't sleep, won't stop crying unless he's nursing and for that matter, won't stop nursing and I'm exhausted, defeated and not even sure if I showered. I've gone into MOPS as a childcare leader, loving on volunteers and children alike. I've gone into MOPS frustrated with my now Preschool twins and not quite sure how to meet them where there at. But I've been met where I'm at and excepted RIGHT WHERE I'M AT - in every season of my life. God gave me a safe space in MOPS. God allowed me to build life long friendships. Not just for me, but for my husband and my boys! Two of my dear MOPS friends Jenna & Nicole have graciously shared their families with mine. And my boys love both Nicole's boys (Marco & Jonas) and Jenna's boys (Bo & Titus) and Erik loves chatting with Mau and is enjoying getting to know Rob - he asked me to get a date set up with them for dinner soon! I love knowing that my family is building friendships with like minded families, who love the Lord and are willing to meet us in this season of our lives... crazy boys, messy house, sleep deprived but full of love and laughter. 

There are not enough words to express what MOPS has meant to me. I'd be crazy if I didn't give some credit to that same dear friend, Nicole Avesani. Six years ago she started MOPS of Miami from the ground up. Since then MOPS of Homestead, MOPS of Cutler Bay, MOPS of Palmetto Bay and MOPS of Miami Springs have formed. I am so proud of all she's done. I'm so grateful for how she's helped me grow. I'm so grateful for MOPS, for her answer to God's call.... for her friendship. MOPS is my lifeline... as a mother, woman, wife and friend. I encourage you, if you are a mom with preschool (or younger) aged children to seek a group in your area. If you're in Miami, I'd love  you to visit with us (or will gladly introduce you to the leaders of the other mentioned groups). 

Today, after my tea and testimony "high" I'm grateful to God for letting me serve in this ministry with some of the most amazing women who I can proudly call my friends. Thank you Lord for blessing my life with MOPS!

(This beautiful group of woman is my small group this year... 2016-2017... 

Left to Right: Susie, Sarah, Me, Kristy, Kristie, Philippa, Erin & Sasha)

Life with Three Boys: Why I wear Ezekiel

Baby wearing is a topic of conversation daily. Because it has literally become my life. Let me tell you something about the past I wish I could change. I wish I knew what I know now about baby wearing when the twins were born. And I am no expert. In the last 4 months at least a dozen people have become better educated about baby wearing and have become the owner of either their first baby wearing item or something BETTER for them to use. Let me state that one carrier is not necessarily better than others. The biggest priority is knowing EXACTLY how to properly use them. And that's usually tons and TONS of youtube videos and preferably an in person meet up. I had the pleasure of hosting one of those recently for MOPS with the help of my good friend Valerie who was the first to lend me a woven wrap and teach me how to properly use it. She truly steered me into the baby wearing world and I hope to continuously pass that along. 

Officially I own 2 Ergos, 3 Lillebabies, 2 Standard Tulas, 1 Toddler Tula, 3 Woven Wraps (1 size 6 and 2 size 5 each one a different brand), a Baby k'tan, a DIY Ring Sling, an infantino unison and an infantino mei tai. I'm sure I have more that I don't even know. Why??? Because it is my EXTREME desire to pass on the gift of baby wearing to anyone who in interested! 1 Ergo is lent to a friend at church, 1 lillebaby permanently lives in Orlando with one of my best friends until God tells her that her baby wearing days are over, 1 lillebaby was just returned to me yesterday and 1 woven wrap is currently lent out as well. God has placed on my heart to be a personal lending library starting with MOPS and branching out within my church and close friends and family. 

Baby wearing isn't for everyone and I will never EVER force anyone to baby wear. But I will help educate, allow you to try on anything I own and guide you in proper use for anyone reading this or any of your friends, any time. I'm happy to lend you any of my carriers too (if it's possible!) Everyone's bodies are built differently. So while I favor our Tula now, I didn't always. And I know friends who 100% prefer their Ergo, Kinderpack or Lillebaby. #wearallthebabies In whatever you choose to wear. It's not a one size fits all kind of thing.

Baby wearing has changed my life. And even when it's just Ezekiel and I running errands, 90% of the time, I still wear him versus tossing him in the stroller. Why you ask? To me this is just like asking why I am still breastfeeding. Yes he is 20 months TODAY (geez we're SO CLOSE to 2!), yes he can walk, yes he can sit in a cart. But he'll only be a baby, toddler, mommas boy for so long. Wearing him allows so many things, so let me share just SOME of the list with you:

1. I can control and contain him

2. He behaves better because he's exactly where he wants to be, with momma

3. If he gets tired, he just lays his head down and passes out

4. He can see everything and I can share in his reactions to the world around him

5. Who wants to deal with a stroller while they're shopping? Carts are bad enough.... God forbid both!

6. He doesn't like to cuddle at home much so this time together is special and oh so short

7. I don't want to pass him around. I know he's not an infant anymore (this was much higher priority in those days) but most of the time I just want people to say hi to us and get about our day/business

8. I don't want strangers touching him. And they're so much less likely to randomly touch my child (spreading their germs or freaking him out) when I'm wearing him

I could go on and on. I wear him because life is short. He'll have so many more days of his life that I cannot wear him anymore. So I wear him now and take him on my journeys with me because he is still small enough to do so. I throw him on my back and I can receive endless hugs and kisses. I strap him to my chest and he can nurse himself to sleep. I wear him because then we are together. He started his life sharing my body. That is where he is safest. Why shouldn't I honor that?

And truthfully, I've worn the twins. They still fit EASILY in the toddler tula and every now and then they want snuggles too. I've haven't done it outside of the house but I would if I needed to. Just recently we went to Silver Springs and Ezekiel was down running around with Erik and my sweet niece, Eriana, was getting tired and wanted to be held so I tossed her in Zeek's standard Tula. It was a bit small, I wish I would've had the toddler. But it did the job. She got to hang out on my back for over 30 minutes and she was in heaven. A few days ago BOTH the twins wanted to be worn. They were really just being silly to see if I could and would. I'm not going to turn down that challenge or those snuggles. So Ephraim got on my back in the toddler and Elijah got put on the front in the standard and Ezekiel cried! HAHA! I got to be silly with my twins and I was a cool mom again! 

Just like I don't wear the twins daily, but will if I need to, the days are coming where that will be Ezekiel's story. I'm going to savor these days that he's really fussy and a quick super man toss up and he's not crying anymore. I'm going to treasure his sweet toddler voice saying "up mommy" for as long as I can. 

I baby wear because it's a PIVOTAL part of my relationship with my youngest son right now. It grounds us both. It's a safe place for both of us. There will be a day that the swaying and humming and fake sign language I do so that he doesn't wake while I wear him, will be over. But just for today, I'm enjoying this season in our life and I'm enjoying baby wearing. I find so much joy in it. And I would love to guide you and help you find that joy too. And if it's not your thing, I'm not judging you, but I'll wear your baby too if you need a break ;) 

HAPPY BABY WEARING MY FRIENDS!

(& seriously, don't hesitate to comment here, text or PM me anytime with anything baby wearing related!)

(Ezekiel and I on Easter Sunday walking into Cheesecake Factory! The sleepy dust was REAL!)

(The twins and I playing around! Elijah on the front in a Standard Tula, Ephraim on the back in a Toddler Tula)

Disclaimer: I read this blog post and it inspired me to write this one!

http://girlofcardigan.com/why-i-wear-my-daughter-because-you-asked/ 

Life with Three Boys: Happy New Year

I remember after I announced I was pregnant with Ezekiel the number one thing people loved to ask me was "are you sure there's just one in there?!" I understood their curiosity but it was frankly, annoying. This always followed a conversation of how much easier it's going to be for me to have just one baby this time....

Ezekiel has single handedly broken me. Erik and I always wanted four kids and I now hesitate about the possibility of that 4th. Let me be clear. I love Ezekiel with my entire heart. I love all three of my sons equally and yet so differently, to meet their individual needs. I love being a mother. But Ezekiel has been an incredible challenge and I do not feel ready to tackle anything deep, especially a new addition. After all, my sweet boy is just a toddler who still needs his mommy's attention.

Ezekiel is a mommas boy. He has a serious case of mamitis. Sometimes I want to scream at him to give me a freakin' break already and sometimes I just want to soak it up. It's been a challenge with him from the beginning. I really wanted a VBAC. With every fiber of my body I wanted one, but it wasn't in the cards for us. I do not regret my decision. I empowered myself. I educated myself. I made life long friends in my birth team. And when the time came, I made the best decision for my son and I trusted my team. But I do believe that all the trauma of hours of labor, being stuck on my sacrum for quite some time and then a cesarean anyways, truly affected Zeek from the beginning. 

Zeek and I have been through so much together in such a short time. Laboring at home for over 24 hours, a csection, trying to create a successful breastfeeding relationship that dealt with getting tongue tie and lip tie corrected (twice for the tongue since I made the HUGE mistake of not seeing a preferred provider the first time), learning to baby wear, never taking a bottle (okay, for maybe a month but not like REALLY taking a bottle), hating the car, not taking naps, hating the crib, co sleeping, trying to create a schedule to just mess it up and then create a new one, illnesses (I was deathly sick and STILL nursing this child), traveling by car and plane, learning to enjoy our time together alone, serious separation anxiety, chronic fluid in his ears, becoming chronic ear infections, leading to tubes next month. I could go on and on. 

But this sweet little boy of mine has literally forever changed my life. He's given me a passion for new mommies (and I'm not talking moms with their first kid, I"m talking moms with new babies weather it's #1 or #9!). He's made me rethink my days sometimes and has allowed me many opportunities to be selfless even when that was the last thing I wanted to do. He's shown me what the saying "He'll eat you out of house and home" is really about.... this kid can EAT and he's STILL nursing too!!

I don't like to sugar coat things.... I like to lay it out. And there's only so much I can lay out here. But I will talk to any one about most anything. Post Partum Depression is real and it's AWFUL! Iron deficiency anemia, pregnant or otherwise, is a TOUGH battle. Making medical decisions for yourself and/or your children.... how? I still regret not doing better research for Ezekiel with his tongue and lip ties and not seeking a preferred provider, etc. Wishing you could change your name to something other than "mom" or better yet, wishing just for awhile you had a "real job" outside of the house! Trying to figure out how to balance self care, catering to the children and being a proper wife and housekeeper. Motherhood is NOT for the weak at heart but even on my WORST days, I love my "job" and it is a HARD job and a truly important one.

Erik and I are working on growing and changing our family. We're trying to get on a better path spiritually and mentally and we're trying to train our boys with more positive perspectives. Pray for us on this journey. Whenever you make a mindset to make change for the good, the demons will always be in your path. But God is so much bigger and we are ready!

The twins are doing so well in school. They love school so much. They're both learning to read and they sometimes completely blow me away. They're also playing Upward Basketball this Spring. Today was their first official game and my sweet Elijah scored the first basket of the game. It was awesome and even he couldn't believe it! We're also in the process of, hopefully, final allergy testing with them. They did all the skin tests and all the things we were worries about checked out negative. However, she's asking Elijah to do a detailed test of blood work to be safe before reintroducing foods. So we're hoping to get that done soon and go from there.

Remember that job Erik was working that we were looking forward to "the end" of it in November? Well.....they offered him a full time job we couldn't resist. So our lives took a big shift. He's still doing photography but much more exclusive now and is gone everyday, working out of the home. I know that's a norm in most households but something insane for me to adjust to after having him around all the time! God is good and really does work in mysterious ways though. And this is definitely a good move for our family.

Speaking of move.... Lord willing we're going to move this summer. Not too far - possibly into Broward to be slightly closer to the offices for Erik, but I know God will guide us where he wants us. Regardless it'll be a house or townhouse with some sort of back yard for the boys which will be HUGE for us AND for them. And, God willing, we'll have better space to accommodate family when they visit.... so when mom and dad come next month, it will be the last time the visit us in our apartment! (Well, at least together since dad doesn't come to Miami much!)

Lots of things are happening for us and I love seeing God working. Ezekiel is getting tubes in his ears next month and hopefully Elijah will complete all this allergy testing. I've also got some health issues going on and may end up needing iron infusions again. Please keep those things in your prayers. It's never easy to care for ourselves when we have little ones to prioritize! I'm sure I've missed a lot since little killer turned one, but clearly it's harder and harder to blog as he gets more active. And lets be honest, I've never been consistent but at least there's SOME documentation of life! Until next time.... here's a cute Valentine for you taken by my friend, Jessica Vilchez (www.jessicavilchezphotography.com)