Have I Told You Lately That I Love You: 5 Weeks Till the Finish Line

I said I'd do my best to stay on top of this thing, but considering it's been almost two months since I updated, that's obviously far fetched. My apologies. As you can imagine, things have been very busy! 

The month of September held many fun and eventful happenings. My mom came to visit and FINALLY got to see my belly and love on the boys. Erik finished the nursery and boy is it a work of art. I can't tell you how many times I've sat and there and cried (good and happy tears). I'm so excited to have little ones in that room full of love and laughter. Their crib was delivered and put together and we purchased their car seats. We also had a lovely baby shower that Cathi hosted and we were literally showered with many great gifts and got to spend time and love with lots of people who are important and close to us. We also got to have a 4D ultrasound of the boys. They were pretty stubborn but we did get one good shot of each boy, thank God. We also got a date/time for our csection - should the boys carry to the end, we'll meet our little prince's on Friday, November 18th at 8:45am. That is 5 weeks and 2 days from today and I'm really stoked! So far things are looking good and I'm hopeful that I can carry till then. I've gained 38 pounds which doesn't thrill me but I'd really rather gain weight and have healthy boys then have complications and so far we've beat all the odds. My prayer is that when these boys come out, they are healthy and they come home with mommy and daddy.

Heading into October, I turned 25 years old..... Quarter of a Century and I'm about to be a mommy. This is definitely going to be a year I will never forget. On Friday (before my bday), Erik had yellow roses delivered to me at work. He's never done that before and it was so beautiful. I was really touched. On Saturday it was a terrible rainy day and I went and treated myself to a mani/pedi that was absolutely amazing. Then Saturday night, Erik and I did our second maternity shoot (picture at the bottom of this post) and it was fabulous! On Sunday, we skipped out on church because Erik had a bad panic attack in the middle of the night and we were exhausted. We cleaned up the house and that night he took me to Longhorn Steakhouse for a nice birthday dinner. He gave me two maternity shirts.... one said "bun in the oven" with a cupcake on it and one said "if these people are my family I'm not coming out" with a word bubble coming from my belly. Very cute! :) Then sadly, Monday morning I had to wake up super early and take him to the airport so he could do his last week in Mexico before the boys come. He surprised me though and left a birthday card for me to find once I got home. Monday night, on my actual birthday, I was so tired I ordered a pizza and put my feet up and watched TV. Most people would say you shouldn't be a lone on your birthday and I wasn't - Elijah and Ephraim enjoyed some pizza with me and we got much needed rest and cried through a girlie movie. HAHA! 

So Erik comes home Friday night. On Saturday he's photographing Nicole & Spencer's wedding. We're at weekly doctor's visits now so on Tuesday I go for an ultrasound and I also scheduled a prenatal massage. Then that Friday, the 21st, he's photographing Alexis & Ryan's wedding. The following Tuesday I go for a full growth ultrasound and to the doctor's. My last day of work is that Friday the 28th and I will then no longer be reporting to the office... thank God! :) The first week in November we made an appointment for WIC to see about some financial assistance.... so hopefully that'll work itself out also. I'm going to spend those few weeks before the boys get here to plan something nice for our first wedding anniversary, to hopefully get some christmas shopping done and also to just rest before my life completely changes (for the better!) I'm really excited for what the end of 2011 brings and the changes that are about to take place in this family. We cannot wait to meet our little angels!

Have I Told You Lately That I Love You: Getting Closer to being Four!

I wish I could say I'd be better at blogging and mean it. But the odds of that happening aren't likely so I'll just offer my apologies in advance. This pregnancy hasn't been terrible but I have nothing else to compare it to. I do see that I want to eat all the time and for the most part can handle anything - which 28 pounds later isn't wonderful. Luckily I have about 10 more weeks (or so) to go and the doctor said I can still safely gain 12 pounds. I'm officially 25 weeks pregnant and these BOYS are seriously active.... yes, you heard me, we're having identical twin boys - Elijah Edward Esparza & Ephraim Enrique Esparza!

Last night, Erik put his headphones on my belly and played some awesome piano music for the boys we purchased in California three years ago and they loved it. They moved all around. I think we sat there for an hour letting the boys listen and watching my belly move. It was awesome!

We did a maternity photo shoot at MeMa & PePa's Ranch in July when I was about 17 1/2 weeks pregnant (picture at the end of the post) and we plan to do another one the weekend of my birthday. I also get to go to the doctor's again on Wednesday and get another ultrasound and hopefully find out a date for the csection.

And so now begins busy season and "the fun" - before you know it, we'll be a family of FOUR! :) Erik started a new job working for an Ibogaine Clinic based out of Mexico. He's the marketing director but has been to Mexico twice already. He started school Wednesday night (only one class this semester) and is still trying to pick up business for photography so he's def keeping busy. Tonight we start our baby classes at South Miami Hospital through the end of September. On Saturday, we're FINALLY going to start painting, designing and preparing the baby room and I can hardly wait. I'm so stoked! Next week Friday we're going to meet with a potential pediatrician for the boys and on Saturday is my first party of the season. I can't believe how fast time is flying! September is packed already. I'm hoping to do a garage sale with the Godinez family on the 10th in order to get rid of items to make room for baby things. The 17th and 18th is a big party weekend for work. On the 20th we finally get a 4D ultrasound of the boys at MDC Medical Campus in Homestead. On the 21st my mommy is coming! We surprised her with a plane ticket to spend a week with me! I miss her!!!! And on the 24th is our baby shower. Cathi is coming from Georgia to throw the shower for us and I couldn't be more grateful! Then on the 27th I'm taking off of work for three doctor's appointments, including another ultrasound so my mommy and maybe my grandma too can go see the ultrasound! Erik will be in West Palm Beach the 26th through the 30th for a conference for work but my mommy only stays until the 28th (her flight leaves at 7am from Ft Lauderdale!) I'm going to soak in whatever time I can with her though! I miss her!

Summer traveling - I didn't get to see the Chandler's in Georgia back in July. I chickened out from flying and as of this moment we lost that money (I'm trying to fight for a refund due to my pregnancy) but I'd rather have lost the $200 than flown - I was really scared! However we did go to the ranch in the beginning of July for Erik's bday and met Karrie, Elias & Emmaus there and had GREAT family fun and bonding. Then we went to see Sam in Tallahassee for two days and then to see my gma in Bradenton for two days - that was quite fun! Then we went back to the ranch in the beginning of August for Grandma Sally's 81st birthday. Karrie and MeMa threw us a surprise baby shower which was awesome and it was so great to see the family, swim and get some R&R - oh and lots of love from Emmaus. Every time I held him the boys would kick. They loved feeling their cousin! We met at the ranch: Laura, Nic, Isabelle, Karrie, Elias, Emmaus, Aunt Ida & Uncle Mike, Aunt Yolie, Aunt Lupe, Aunt Beti & Grandma Sally. It was so nice to be together and I know Erik needed that time around his family. When Erik and I left we went to a bed and breakfast for two nights and enjoyed our own cottage with jacuzzi bath and king size bed! We had massages in our room, we saw the local youth theatre's production of Peter Pan and we went on a lunch cruise called Rivership Romance. We also stopped in Vero Beach to the Croteau residence on our way home, which was nice. And now there's no more traveling.... just waiting and preparing for getting closer to being four!

Hope all our friends and family are well and that all you women can make it to our baby shower! Lots of love!

Have I Told You Lately That I Love You: Growing Inside my Tummy!

The twins are rapidly growing inside me. As I write this post, I am 13 weeks pregnant and on the verge of entering my second trimester. My clothes don't fit me as well as I'd like, I've gained about six pounds, I want sweets (even the good ones, aka fruits) more than I EVER have before and I've definitely got an obvious baby bump. I went to the doctor's over a week ago, on the 24th of May. Erik didn't come but my mom and little sis did come with me.........

I was SHOCKED at how active these munchkin's are already.... they were moving all over the place! Baby A is on my right side and Baby B is on my left side. Baby B is def going to be the trouble maker. He/She was already getting into mischief, trying to steal the limelight from Baby A and just bouncing all over the place! They both already suck their thumbs too! Totally cool to see how big and personable they are already! 

So now, the next appointment is June 28th and we are going to FINALLY know if we have boys or girls! YAY! I'm sooo stoked! Then a few days later, on July 1st, we are FINALLY leaving to go to Mom & Pop's Ranch! We'll get there hopefully in time for dinner on the 1st and we'll stay until mid morning on the 6th (we'll celebrate the 4th and Erik's birthday both at the ranch). Ideally Elias, Karrie and Emmaus will be meeting us there. By the evening of the 6th, we'll be in Tallahassee visiting Sam. We'll stay with her until the 9th and leave by lunch time to go to my grandma's in Bradenton. We'll stay the night with Gma and we'll leave after breakfast on Sunday to go the rest of the way home! I will most likely have another doctor's appointment Monday the 11th and then the morning of the 12th, I'm jumping on a plane until 19th to spend time with the Chandler's in Georgia! I really wish Erik could come with me but I'm sooo stoked to get a mini vacation and have some time with my good friends and their two beautiful boys and get some good "mountain air!"

Then I will return, back to the grind at work and hopefully in August Erik and I will get a weekend back at the ranch to see his grandma for her birthday!

While summer is HOT, HUMID and threatened with HURRICANES, it also means less parties and I'm sooo thrilled to be able to breathe a little bit and think about decorating/painting the babies room and also a potential baby shower! 

P.S. - My mom and Shaina are leaving on June 13th and their travel POD leaves this Monday the 6th..... I'm excited for them and it's also a bit scary too!

Have I Told You Lately That I Love You: & Babies Make FOUR!!!

Well my friends, I'm going to TRY to keep up with the blogging, especially throughout the pregnancy. Erik and I went for our first ultrasound on Friday, April 22nd, 2011. It was GOOD FRIDAY and it was definately a GOOD FRIDAY for us. My friends, I laid on the ultrasound table, thinking of nothing but being terrified of having a vaginal ultrasound and within seconds that idea was nothing compared to the overwhelming feeling of what I saw on the screen. NOT ONE BABY, BUT TWO! Erik and I were able to see that we are having identical twins. We have since learned that identical twins means they share one placenta and are from one egg and one sperm. Therefore they will either be two boys or two girls. The only small challenge is that this is a more high risk pregnancy. With one baby, our due date would be December 8th. But with two babies, the goal is to carry them until November 17th. Twins can come out as early as 28 weeks or as late as 37 weeks. So realistically they will come the end of October/beginning of November. This also means a C Section. Which is my newest fear. And it means ultrasounds every 4 weeks until I am 26 weeks pregnant (the end of August) and then every two weeks after that until they determine to take the babies out. Of course if there is a challenge before the 26th week, they will increase the ultrasounds prior to that. It is also feasible that I will be on bed rest at some point. And, while I will do my best with my calorie intake, it is also obvious that I'm going to get big quickly...  I'm 8 1/2 weeks along right now (2 months) and I no longer can close my jeans and I have a visible "baby bump." I don't have serious complaints other than being completely exhausted ALL THE TIME. I also get nauseous everyday and I have a headache almost everyday. I do have a bit of moodiness going on as well but I guess they are all things that are to "be expected." We are really excited for this new adventure that God has planned for us!

In other news, Shaina, Erik and I went to my grandma's house for Easter weekend and Sam was able to drive down from Tallahassee and meet us. Mom was in Tulsa, OK with dad. It was a nice weekend together. My Aunt Sheila made us a sort of Thanksgiving Dinner on Saturday night and it was splendid! It was a wonderful time together and I'm looking forward to more trips this summer!

Parties are slowing down at work but I do have things "here and there." I worked Saturday night until 1am and it was def a challenge to keep my eyes open but I still love my job and want to keep at it as long as I can! My last official party is June 18th and I'm stoked for the summer!

In 11 days my childhood friend, Chris Olson is going to be marrying his sweetheart in Vero Beach, FL so Erik and I will be traveling there to join them as guests and as their day of coordinator and photographer. I'm excited for a "weekend away" even if it involves MINOR work from us! It's a labor of love for family and friends!

In July we'll find out if the babies are boys or girls. And we'll celebrate Erik's birthday at his parents ranch in Summerland, FL and Elias and Karrie will meet us there with Emmaus too! :) After a few days there, we'll drive to Tallahassee to see my sister Sam as well as my Uncle Stan & his restaurant. Plus my cousin Becky is back in the states to have her baby who will be born by then so we'll go see her and Nissi and Malachi too. And I'll def check in with my cousin Laura and her daughter Aralea! When Erik and I get home, I'll be turning around probably a day or two later and flying to Georgia to visit the Chandler's. Hopefully my health will hold up and they'll be no challenges for me to fly with the babies!

Not sure what August holds but possibly a late honeymoon weekend for Erik and I and maybe a trip back to the ranch. Of course throughout the summer we have a baby room to paint & prepare for!

Looking forward to the next few months. To enjoying it and celebrating the changes in my body and our house for our rapidly growing family and thanking God for His blessings. Hope all our family and friends are doing well and that everyone has safe plans for the summer! We'll be updating soon!

Have I Told You Lately That I Love You: & Baby Makes Three!!!

Erik and I talked early in our engagement about having kids, building a family and the importance that it held in our life. I knew since before I met Erik that I wanted nothing more than to be a mommy. There are pictures of me "nursing" my baby doll mimicking my mom feeding Shaina. It's always been "in my blood." I would've been content to get pregnant on our honeymoon night. But we knew God would bless us in His perfect timing. 

In January, when we went to Jensen Beach, I told Erik that being a mommy was deeply in my heart. And we discussed again and determined we felt we were ready. But we didn't jump into trying. In February we finally decided it was time to try. The first official time we tried, we got pregnant.

I know my body pretty well and had always monitored my cycle. So almost immediately, I knew something wasn't right. But I tried to convince myself it was nothing. Not because I didn't want to get pregnant, but mostly because I didn't want to be disappointed. My first sign was extreme exhaustion. My second sign was frequent urination. After that it was little things.... tender breasts and my desire for water. On Friday, I decided to buy home pregnancy tests, just in case. Saturday morning, Erik told me that everything has always happened to him in March and that we could possibly have conceived a baby in march and that same night at work, a girlfriend of mine told me I was pregnant, that she could tell. So Sunday morning, I woke up first and took the home pregnancy test and was SHOCKED when it was positive. I was speechless and immediately got Erik and just pointed. I don't think we even let it be reality.

Tuesday morning I went to the doctor's to take their test and confirmed that I was in fact, pregnant. A month along to be exact. We are due, approximately around December 8th (same day as my BEST FRIEND from high school's birthday! WHOO HOO!). We will have our first ultrasound on Friday, April 22nd and I am full of excitement and anticipation.

We called his parents and grandma sally that night to let them know. They were thrilled. Then we drove to Homestead to tell my mom, my gma and my dad (via skype). We pretended we had an early birthday present for my mom and got a card welcoming her new grandchild! My mom cried so much! She's waited a super long time to be a grandma and she is thrilled.

Erik and I are so excited for this journey.... to give my parents their first grand baby, to give his parents ANOTHER one to love on and to give Emmaus a cousin! He's cousin #13 on his mom's side but now he gets to be cousin #1 on our side.

God is good. He has blessed us and allowed wonderful things to happen when we put it in His hands and trust His ultimate timing. We are excited to share this new adventure with everyone and thank you for your blessings and your prayers.

Have I Told You Lately That I Love You: Life as a Married Couple

These days as a married couple are amazing. We are receiving God's blessing's daily. There are lessons consistently happening for us. There is a huge change taking place in my life and in my family's life. My father has accepted the Pastor position at Southwood Bible Church in Tulsa, OK. This Sunday, February 20th will be the last day that my father speaks from our pulpit at Truth Bible Fellowship. This is a difficult pill for me to swallow right now and I am on an emotional roller coaster. My dad will be gone by the end of the month to head to Tulsa and find a home. My sister, Shaina and my mom will follow by June. My father has already sold our house to our old neighbors, the Crawfords. Erik has been a rock for me to lean on. I'm understanding that I am now an Esparza and a Mrs. And I am 100% okay with that. It is still sad [and hard] to think my parents and minnie me will be so far away.

On other notes, work is picking up for both of us. Erik is swamped with items on his agenda at G&G Holistics, plus he is dealing with school. On top of that, his photography is finally picking up. He photographed the Pinecrest Bike Day on February 5th. It was a gorgeous day and a GREAT event. We both had a wonderful time! This weekend he is photographing Emily Feuillebois for her 3rd birthday. We also have Cathi Chandler flying in from Georgia to photo shoot with Erik all day Sunday to re-build/update her modeling portfolio. On April 16th we are photographing Amanda Azan's morning wedding and also have a pending wedding for the evening (keep reading to hear what I have that night! haha). In May we are photographing Chris Olson's wedding on the 13th and we have another wedding for Nataly & Tarik on the 20th. For Nataly and Tarik we will be doing both photography and videography so we are gearing up for the excitement of that. We are grateful to God for allowing our business to take off.

On the catering side, this is the time of year for Gala's and Silent Auctions. On Friday, Feb 25th, we are catering for Westminster Christian School for 300 guests at the Palmetto Bay Village Center with a 'Moon over Miami' theme. The next day, Feb 26th, we are catering for Ransom Everglades at their middle school for 425 guests with a 'Key West' theme. The following Saturday, March 5th, we are catering for St Thomas for 350 guests with a 'Hollywood' theme. Shortly after, I will have all four wisdom teeth removed on Tuesday, March 15th. Saturday, April 2nd is the Auction & Gala for Temple Judea for 300 guests and the grand finale is April 16th for the Miami Children's Museum 'Be a Kid Again' Gala for 500 guests. On top of that, we have a lot of little parties and a few bar mitzvahs and such. In between, I have been hired by a client at my old place of employment, Deering Bay Yacht & Country Club on May 7th. And I will be the day-of coordinator for my dear friend, Chris Olson for his wedding on May 13th.

So the Esparza's have their hands full right now but we are very excited for what God is doing in our lives. We are excited for some down time in the summer and plan to spend the 4th of July and Erik's 31st birthday with mom and dad Esparza at their new ranch in Summerfield, FL! :)

Oh and our Valentine's Day was simple and sweet. No roses or chocolates in our house. I like roses on days I don't expect to receive them! Instead, he made me a hand made card, we cooked dinner together, I made him a cappuccino chocolate cream cheese cake and we just simply enjoyed being together....... no computer, no tv, no phone! :)

Until next week..... we wish you all as many blessings as we are receiving.

Have I Told You Lately That I Love You: Finances and all that Jazz

Do you know why people work so much? Because of bills.... and on the off chance there aren't bills, then there are WANTS. I used to always live by WANTS. I magically turned those WANTS into NEEDS and BOUGHT. Thankfully I wasn't insane. I saved a decent amount of money to let myself learn lessons the hard way. I spent more than I needed to on other people. As if I could "buy their love" per-say. I love my parents, but they are making changes in their life too and were not in a financial place to pay for an insane wedding. Nor did they think it was necessary. I, on the other hand, grew up a Disney Princess and was intent on have the wedding of my dreams. I've heard the complaints of guests and family about how our wedding day went down. Some people were frustrated with the last minute venue change - my best friend for TEN YEARS completely missed the ceremony because if it. That sucked. Some people were frustrated with the food (even though the catering company was one of Miami's BEST) - my mom FINALLY sat down to eat her salad and they had already removed her plate for the main course, she was bummed! Some people were super annoyed with the DJ - my poor nephew's ears just couldn't take it at a mere one month old and he had to leave early and I missed out on my dream picture of trading my bouquet for my handsome nephew. My dad must've asked the guy 12 times to turn it down! :( In his defense, I was the bride and I told him I wanted the reception to sound and feel like a night club, and he did that for me. Some people were sad at the outcome of the pictures - even  I was a bit bummed. My first grade teacher came all the way from Georgia for this event and there wasn't a single picture of her. I know we took one together, but I guess it wasn't captured properly. Amongst others that weren't photographed, the photographer did his job and followed the bride and groom and we remained on the dance floor. So those who didn't dance, you'd think they weren't even there. Even in our full family picture, my brother-in-law, Elias is holding my nephew, Emmaus and they are like "poking their head" into the picture. The photographer had the view and could've rearranged it but *sigh* he did the best he could  I guess. And we did get GREAT pictures for what he did capture. People Erik and I chose, and we decided to put my savings towards this wedding. We chose against a honeymoon and against saving the money for the future. We had options and we chose to celebrate. I put so much time and effort into that day. I can only hope that our friends and family found some enjoyment amongst the complaints and disappointments. It was, by far, the happiest day of my life (so far) and the beginning of an incredible journey with my best friend. With that, Erik and I have had to rethink and re-determine our priorities when it comes to finances. I can no longer think as a "me" but rather a "we". And WE are truly blessed. God has given us a bit of extra money to cover things. I am having to take my wisdom teeth out this month and Erik is having a root canal and crowning. That is a decent chunk of change that is coming out. But we were also blessed with the ability to make our trip to Jensen Beach at the beginning of the month and Erik was able to put some money into some photography equipment that he desperately needed. God is good all the time. He always provides when we need it, even when it is not always obvious. We discuss constantly and try to review our funds. I have a GREAT budgeting system that my dad taught me many years ago that I am happy to share. So far, it is working for us. And while I do crunch the numbers at the beginning of each month to make sure we still stand strong, I do have faith that whether it looks negative or positive, it is always in God's hands.

Until next time...................

Have I Told You Lately That I Love You: To the Honeymoon & Beyond!!

http://www.innattiltonplace.com/ See that website? That's like the greatest place on earth! Erik took me on a mini-honeymoon this weekend because we never got a real one. What an experience! I am officially in love with Bed & Breakfast's and hope to NEVER have to spend the night in a regular hotel again in my life! haha! Katie, the Innkeeper was so kind. It felt like visiting grandma's house when your a little kid (except Katie is definitely NOT a grandma!) When we got there, the room was made up and ready for us with our key inside. She told us a great place to eat and there was also an awesome book in our room with things to do in the area! We ate at tons of great restaurants. My first meal was lobster bisque as a first course and lobster macaroni and cheese as a second course. What an amazing treat! We drove out to the beach at Hutchinson Island that night - it was so gorgeous! The next day we went to Heathcote Botanical Gardens in Fort Pierce. We also found a GREAT taqueria and we went to the palateria next door and had homemade hazelnut ice cream for $.50! We found a street fair and walked around as well. There was live music and awesome food that smelt great! I tell you, all we did was eat! :) That night we went to a restaurant on the water and had an amazing and intense conversation. It was a great time to grow closer to God and each other and learn strengths and weaknesses to see where we have room for growth. Sunday morning we woke up and went to breakfast in the main house once again - did I mention Katie made a three course gourmet breakfast DAILY for us?!?!? After breakfast we packed up the car, said good bye to Katie and headed to the beach. We spent the next few hours walking the beach, looking for sea shells, with our feet in the sand and the water, enjoying each other's company! It was PERFECTION! We spend the morning there and finished our weekend with lunch at the Dolphin Bar and Fish House. After lunch we walked the pier and took more pictures and then it was time to start heading home. We stopped for ice cream first, them we drove to West Palm Beach. We walked Erik's old stomping grounds and enjoyed a chai tea latte. Then we headed to Westin to have Pei Wei for dinner. Finally, around 8:30, we were home, in our own home, to begin laundry, unpacking and prepping for the week. God is so good to us. We were so blessed to have this weekend together and couldn't be happier. We hope to have a more detailed honeymoon this summer - but for now, this was the beginning of many bed and breakfast excursions to come - I've already got my sights on one in Siesta Key - just south of Sarasota! :)

So now, we're back to work and back to the real world. I have a huge event this Saturday for a plated meal of 350 guests plus a snack bar for 175 teens. So the paperwork, staffing, truck rentals, set up and preparations have officially kicked into high gear. My parents and Shaina are leaving on Friday to Oklahoma for a week for new things God has planned for them. I am praying for their travels and that they make the right decisions for the benefit of their spiritual growth. My husband will work with me on Saturday and prayfully will have a photo shoot on Sunday. We are busy, but we are blessed.

Lastly, I have a plea for help from our friends. Ezekiel e. Photography is my husband's company. We make a mean team and capture wonderful event shots to truly save memories. We also have a home studio to do family portraits, head shots for auditions, and much more. We have sort of a contest we've started called 1000+ in 2011. Details can be seen by visiting http://www.ezekielephotography.com Basically, we need you, if you haven't already to "like us" on facebook. We also ask that you "Suggest to friends" for all of us. The goal is to reach 1000 facebook fans by March. If we reach this goal, we will set up a Sat/Sun event that anyone who has "liked" us on facebook will get a FREE 15 minute in-studio photo shoot!!! Help us out friends, and this is your opportunity to build your portfolio, have a sweet photo with your significant other or strictly have a nice new facebook profile picture! :) Looking forward to having some new friends and hopefully reaching new clients! Thanks everyone!

Oh, by the way, HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE ESPARZA'S!